Pretending to be ok

Slipping away.
Unforgettable.
Bruised
Broken
Harmed
Damaged
Neglected
Disfigured
Tortured
Powerless
Frightful
Wounded
Alone
Pretending to be ok.

I think of her (you) when I hear this song. You really make me smile, I love the way I feel when I am around you. If only you knew the way you make me feel.

You're better then the best
I'm lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler than the flip side
Of my pillow, that's right

Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where
You send me, lets me know that it's okay
Yeah, it's okay
And the moments where my good times start to fade

You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed
Sing like bird, dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile

Even when you're gone,
Somehow you come along just like
A flower pokin' through the sidewalk crack
And just like that
You steal away the rain, and just like that

You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed
Sing like bird, dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile

Don't know how I lived without you
'Cause every time that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile

You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild

You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed
Sing like bird, dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile
(Oh, you make me smile)
Oh, you make me smile
(Oh, you make me smile)
Oh, you make me smile

Today....

.....I was alone with you for a little bit. The thought of coming to you and just telling you how I feel really crossed my mind. I really want us to be the way we were 4 months ago, I miss the conversations we used to have and how you were able to make me smile just by being silly, but I also enjoyed all the serious conversations too. I have told you things I don't dare tell anyone else. Yet here I am unable to tell you that in the past 8 months I have fallen for you. I know by now that you read this blog, just know that every happy poem below this post is about you. You mean so much to me. I don't understand why your attitude has changed, but I will do whatever it takes to get things back the way they used to be. I love the days when we joke back and fourth and the looks that I got from you just made my body and heart go crazy, once in a while you will still let one of those looks out, and I still get that same feeling.

A little bit ago I decided that I was gonna test the old saying of "sometimes we build walls around us, just to see who cares enough to knock them down." Well, you once seemed to care, and maybe didn't knock the wall down but you sure cracked it trying. Then all of a sudden it's like you don't care, and you do not mind the wall around me when I'm walking by. Truth be told here and now is when I need you to come inside and knock this wall down. I understand you have things going on in your life too, but let me help you the way you helped me through one of the hardest times in my life.

If I can't be with you, then I can't. But know that I'm here for you whenever you need someone. Don't let the age difference bother you, I owe you so much. I do infact have very strong feelings for you, but know I can't act on them unless you were to say it's ok. Which let's face it, I'm no prize so why would you say that?

If only you knew

If only you knew,
how much I like you,
If only I knew,
if you liked me too.

If only I could stop,
keeping this secret,
'Cuz everyday I fall,
deeper for you.

If only I knew,
if you felt the same way,
I find myself wanting,
to tell you everyday.

I've heard you've said,
so many things,
but now I don't know,
what to believe.

Do you like me,
or do you not,
I need to ask you,
Tell you I like you so much.

If only you knew
how much I like you,
If only I knew,
If you liked me too!

My hidden love for you

When I first saw you
I looked into your eyes
I saw a glow about you
I loved all that I could see

I love to see your smile
Spread across your face
But when it does seem to fade
My heart stars to ache

I like to hear you speak
Your voice brings me chills
It puts me in a crazy setting
All starts to haze

Whenever I think of you
I drift to a far off place
Where anything could happen
Where I could love you

I didn't know what to say
I didn't know how to put it
So I tried to hide it
But it can't be concealed any longer

I'll try to say it here and now
I'll try to tell you how I feel
I love you girl with all my heart
Will you return my love for you

It's a secret

I want to say "I like you"
I want to say "I need you"
I want to say "I love you"
I want to say "I adore you"

And, i want to say "You are my everything"

I want to say "I care about you"
I want to say "I understand you"
I want to say "I'll never leave you"
I want to say "I am here for you"

And, I want to say "You are my everything"

But, I can't
It's a secret

Unspoken words

These words are building up inside.
I don't know why I can't say them.
Every time I try to say them to you
The words get left behind.
These words that are unsaid.
Should never be left unheard.
They should fly like a free bird.
Instead there locked up in a cage
Hid in the dark never to be seen.
I hate that I can't say these words
To someone I truly love.
Every time you leave
I feel regret indeed.
I need to say these words.
To let you know that I truly care.
One day those words will be set free.
Then you will truly see.
That I do care for you.
When I do say those words.
That are hidden in the dark.
You will hear my sweet voice.
Say those three precious words
Telling you that I Love You.

Smile like music

Your smile is like music to my soul
The drifting melody in your grin a soft lifting
I can only barely hear it
Yet it completely consumes me
Filling my every day with gentle harmony
And pounding brilliance
I cannot breathe for your music
I can only reply with my own

You consume my mind, heart and soul

I can't seem to get you out my mind, the thoughts of you bring a satisfied smile onto my face. My profound attraction for you runs bottomless. In my eyes you are something words can not describe, something more than incredible. I dream of us been together, these thoughts of you cloud my memory. Everything else doesn't matter to me. Thus, you are all I think about. For I have been a long time searching for you, now I found you, I can not have you. It breaks my heart, and I promised myself I shall not feel this pain again. Your past relates to mine, making me feel this special connection with you. Thinking of you is a drug I can't stop taking, it's hard to talk to you without the need to confess my love to you. It kills me to hold myself from telling you how much you're needed in my life, the rejection is darker than night itself. The hurt twists my insides so deeply I could be crying with pain. The heartache is worse than a burnt hand, I will not experience this pain and for that you will never know about my infatuation with you. For that I will say nada zilch....Nothing

Secret Love

I want to overcome the thousands of nights and tell you
There is something that I must tell you
I want to be loved, I want to be loved by you
But I don't think you love me

Staring into the eyes of an angel
As I watch you laugh with such a gracful smile
I want to scream out I Love You!
But these words always seem to escape me

I want to face you, but I can't find the courage
I want to tell that I'll alway be there, but can't find the words
I want to hold you in my arms, but I just can't reach you
I want you to love me, but I just can't see your feelings

If only I could kiss you
If only I could show you my heart
You would see the only thing in it is you.

Crush

Sweeter thoughts invade my mind,
Never fearing what they'll find,
Yet I feel I am running blind,
As this new dream leaves me behind,

It burns every time I hear her name,
My thoughts refuse to stay the same,
Anticipating what she'll next say,
This too, takes my breath away,

But if I had just one chance,
I would absorb a beautiful romance,
Showing her truly that I won't lie,
Maybe too, sealing a kiss from her lips.